Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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