I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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