the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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