Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
