how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
