dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
