the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
