I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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