you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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