He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
