It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
