This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
