Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
