I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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