after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
