Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
