I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
