Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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