you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
