Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
