I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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