I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
