Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
