if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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