i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
