The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
