i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
