Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
