your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
