Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry taking_the_mick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(518): View more from New York

He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

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(425): View more from Washington

This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?

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(858): View more from California

this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me

(619): View more from California

that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?

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