I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
