i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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