Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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