well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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