how can u be prego again
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
