well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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