im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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