you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
