Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
