I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
