So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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