I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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