i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
