There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
