The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize