The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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