So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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