Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
