Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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