you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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